On Being A Pariah
Posted on May 19, 2014 by Paul Lemmen
I thought that my first real post on my return to blogging here at the Dead Republican Party blog should be something with some heft, meaty and of some considerable substance. I hope that what follows meets that lofty ideal.
I am a pariah. I made myself one through my own actions and this is one of the consequences of those actions. In many peoples minds those criminal acts define me and my entire life. It is their right to think so. I believe that a subset of a persons actions do not define their totality and that redemption is possible, in both the religious sense as well as the civil sense, that is, in a recoupment of personal honor through repentance, serving whatever punishment is accorded by the criminal justice system and a conversatio morum (conversion of manners or life) as St. Benedict called it.
My personal honor, through my bad acts, is dented and tarnished. Thus I am pariah. Through hard work, full disclosure of my past to the public (frequently reminding people of that is mandatory) as well as anyone who might be tempted to place any trust in me is an essential part of the beginnings of that desired conversion of life. To facilitate that conversion I start each day with Psalm 51:
Miserere mei, Deus, secundum magnam misericordiam tuam et secundum multitudinem miserationum tuarum, dēlē iniquitatem meam. Amplius lavā me ab iniquitate mea: et a peccato meo munda me. Quoniam iniquitatem meam ego cognōscō: et peccatum meum contra me est semper.
Have mercy upon me, O God, according to thy lovingkindness: according unto the multitude of thy tender mercies blot out my transgressions. Wash me throughly from mine iniquity, and cleanse me from my sin. For I acknowledge my transgressions: and my sin is ever before me.
“… my sin is ever before me.” This is the only way that anyone who is in the process of pounding out the dents and polishing away the tarnish of their personal honor can ever achieve their goal! Accept this and keep it ever as a guiding principal. In keeping my sin ever before me, this prevents (or at least severely hampers) further bad acts. This inspires me to do good, to atone for previous bad acts, to devote my energies to serving my community, not screwing them, deceiving them or harming them.
Scrupulous adherence to the law and the duties of citizenship are required as is a truly contrite heart. Still, there are people who are hostile and question everything, which is actually a good thing as it keeps me focused on the straight and narrow way.
Time will be the proof of my efforts (and the efforts of others who would follow this path). This is the path I recommend to anyone who has ever dented or tarnished their personal honor and become pariah.